Do you have a choice in life or does destiny control you? In fact, it is a bit of both. In this article, I explain how exactly you can change what you can, and accept what you can’t change.
Change what you can and accept what you can’t change
On the surface, it does seem like we make decisions and choices out of our own free will. But when we dig deeper, we realize that given the circumstances we make the only choice we possibly can based on our programming. For instance, you need to choose between two jobs. The interviewer at the first one squinted unpleasantly and reminded you of your father who used to beat you up. You didn’t even notice that consciously but your subconscious already made a decision to keep you away from this job. Now you are consciously stacking up pros and cos to have something tangible to justify your decision, all the way not even realizing that the decision has been made. In the end, of course you “choose” the second job after having experienced quite a bit of worry, fear of making a mistake and indecision. It looks like you made the choosing out of your own free will, but did you really? And if not, if you were always going to end up with the second job, were the sleepless nights prior worth it?
Granted, the above scenario is not the only way we make decisions. Here is another one. Consider a young man who is dating a few women and settles for the obviously “wrong” choice. “Is he blind?” asks everyone. “Why leave the sweet girl for that bitch?” But why not? What choice did he have really? Assuming we all come here with a script, there are certain things we not only cannot avoid but we must experience in order to learn, grow and evolve. So we “make choice” to support us on that journey. In reality, we don’t have a say as to what is going to happen, especially when it comes to experiences that are going to challenge us to rise to higher levels of consciousness (whether we do or not is a different matter). It is as if we are watching a movie where we play the main part. The movie has already been shot but we are yet to extract the morale of the story. We can’t change the script. But we can keep reminding ourselves that we are observers; we can step back, gain perspective and learn from our own experiences projected on the screen.
Thus, the young man is marrying the bitch not because he made the wrong decision. Their union was already in the movie and the only thing he is left with now is learn (to trust his intuition, to not judge, to be more patient, etc.). (Not) coincidentally, that bitch is most likely mirroring his own dark side and is helping him integrate his shadow and elevate his own game. So what should he do now? Get out of the marriage? If that’s on the script, he will. But more importantly, the question here is not what to do but what to make out of it. What attitude is he going to have while watching his own movie? Is he going to watch it in fear, regret and bitterness, or is he going to stand in faith, trust, acceptance and unconditional love? He most certainly can’t change the movie itself (everybody’s movie, by the way, is completely neutral), but he can change his experience while he is watching it. And that’s worth gold because the quality of our life is determined not by the events in it but by how we experience them.
So if you are struggling to change your script, stop. Work on your attitude instead in order to be able to experience a life of higher quality. After all, this is the very reason we came here for: to work on our attitude. It is not by chance that our script is full of obstacles. They offer opportunities to alter our attitude and thus elevate consciousness. Attitude is the key to “changing” life. Not that you can really change it. But by changing your attitude, life will look different and you are more likely to enjoy it.
Understand that change starts from within. Don’t wait for life and circumstances to change to your liking so you can be happy. Instead, become happy first and your circumstances won’t bother you. They will seem like a blessing, an opportunity, a gift. Ask yourself: Through what color lenses are you observing your 100% neutral movie? Are you standing in greed or love? Are you feeling resistance or acceptance? Do you dream of vengeance or forgiveness? Are you being grateful? Your attitude is all that determines your possibility for happiness. It won’t change the number of fallen trees on your path. But it decides whether you will be happy or miserable. And it also determines the quality of your decision-making process. When you focus on who you are being instead of what you are doing, you won’t be as fearful of the results. Cultivate integrity, love, forgiveness, patience, faith, trust and acceptance. This is how you assume the right attitude which effectively changes your programming. And once you observe your movie from a higher program, the results (decisions, choices, etc.) will simply follow effortlessly and you won’t be tormented in the process.
In conclusion, if you want a good life, you work on controlling life’s circumstances (which will give you marginal satisfaction but will leave you exhausted and ultimately dissatisfied). If, however, you want a great life, you work on your attitude. This way you align yourself with destiny gracefully. You are not afraid of fate; the ever so tiring need to control life is simply not there. It is what it is, and you ask for no more and no less.