Are you facing a dilemma? Which way should you go? What if you make a mistake, make the wrong decision and suffer as a result? And worse yet, what if someone else suffers as a result of your decision? If such questions torment you and make your decision making process stressful, continue reading and learn how to take the drama out and enjoy the successful outcome of your decisions.
Every cloud has a silver lining
A decision making process often looks like that: ‘If I choose A, then I gain x & y but I lose z, and I don’t know what is going to happen with o, p & q. If I chose B, then I gain x, z & k, I lose o, and I don’t know what is going to happen with y, o and q. I am afraid of what might happen in either situation, I am not prepared to lose anything, and I am so attached to the importance of this matter and to not making a mistake, that I would rather fry in this situation forever than actually pick one road and start walking it. I feel paralyzed.’
Now, let us start addressing each of the above concerns in order.
Firstly, the question of gain and loss is meaningless. You always win exactly as much as you lose. That’s because there is always a precise balance in nature. You win today, you lose tomorrow. You lose today, you win tomorrow. Either way, natural balancing forces make sure you always come back to neutral. In other words, you can imagine the cup half empty or half full. But the cup is always the same. The cup just is.
Secondly, if you apply the above principle to your (completely unfounded) fear of the unknown, it becomes clear that even when you can’t predict the future in detail, you can be certain that you will win something, lose something, and end up in the middle no matter what. Again, it will be up to your imagination to see the cup half full or half empty.
Thirdly, it’s no big deal if you “make a mistake”! In fact, that’s often desirable and precisely the point. Mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth. Therefore there are no mistakes as such. Imagine a baby trying to talk. They fall, stand up and keep on walking. Eventually they figure it out by trial and error. Do you want to remain a baby or do you want to grow up? If you want to grow up, you have to make your “mistakes” (and learn from them!).
In summary, make your decisions always guided by the principle Every cloud has a silver lining, and always look for this silver lining, no matter what the outcome of your decision is. This way you will never feel paralyzed and you will have no regrets.